Learning to be straight forward without being unwelcome
In childhood, we have kept authentic thoughts before authoritative figure which were met with rejection, denial, eye-rolls, and shouting. Hence, we tend to keep the same even when the our situations change.
As an adult even in the worst case scenario, we could just walk away.
How to be
If they are attracted to someone they find some charming, kind and inoffensive ways of making their feelings clear.
We can untangle ourselves by noticing and growing curious about the origins of our habitual evasiveness and reluctant slyness.
How little of our truth is originally acceptable to those originally brought us into the world. Simultaneously, tell ourselves that our circumstances have changed.
No one is going to hurt at us. Speak inexplicably hurt, like they once did.
What is it with the complicated people
They are painfully unaware of the legitimacy of their own feelings. Which renders them unable to let the world know what they truly want and feel.
They will give every impression of being happy with you, while crying inside.
They feel overlooked, but won't ever push themselves forward or raise a complaint.
They are longing to be understood but never speak.
When they are attracted to someone, only outward evidence might be few sarcastic comments. Leaving the object of their affection bemused or unimpressed.
What could explain such confusing complexity?
Because the child met with criticism when put forward his authentic thoughts, he develops emotional code. He became someone who imply rather than state.
Who has given up saying anything that its audience already might not want to hear.
Somebody who lacks the courage to articulate their own convictions or even take slightly risk bit for affection the another person.
Assumptions that are unhelpful
Our complicated behavior doesn't in fact please people.
Most of the people we deal with far rather be disappointed head on, than to sold a fine tale and then have to suffer disappointment in gradual doses.
Human interaction is inherently filled with the risk of conflict.
We are never far from misaligned goals or divergent desires.
However, the straightforward people among us have known enough love and acceptance early on. They were able to bear the ruffling of few feathers.
They invest their energies in trying to deliver their intentions with thoughtful diplomacy rather than burying them badly beneath temporary and saccharine smiles.